10 More Things I’ve Learned As A Mammy


So, last year the very lovely Learner Mama held a linky on her blog; 10 things learned from Motherhood. Like many other parenting bloggers; I contributed my piece detailing all of the knowledge I’d learned in the first 8 weeks of motherhood. You can check that out here, and I definitely recommend checking out the other bloggers involved in the linky, far more experienced than I am.

Needless to say, a year on, there has been a lot more learning in the meantime. So I decided it was time for an update; sharing the knowledge of my learnings in the hopes that perhaps it will help some random google search to find an answer (because really, people do search for some really strange things).

10 more things I've learned as a Mammy

1. Today’s favourite food is going to be spat back out at you tomorrow, and not eaten again for a few weeks. Unless it is raisins. About four raisins from the pack will be eaten while the rest cover every single surface in your house.

2. The world is not a very childproof place, even with childproofing in place – toddlers will find a way to bang themselves off sharp edges or hard surfaces on the way down regardless of what environment, unless you make your house in a soft play area. One useful tip however is childproofing your phone – I know if I throw Netflix on for E I used to worry about him clicking into other things, deleting apps etc. On my iPhone, I discovered that by turning on “Guided Touch” in the accessibility menu, I can lock the screen so he can’t exit out of the app or turn off the show – genius! (There are other child-proofing iPhone tips here)

3. Never, ever leave a cup of tea or coffee down while your toddler is around. Not only does keeping it in your hands ensure a slightly better chance of you drinking it while it’s semi hot, this measure also protects your coffee table from being painted in tea, or a waterfall effect being added to your sofa. Not to mention potential burns.

4. Dungarees without poppers are asking for poonamis to happen. Start running the bath now.

5. Always check the buggy before leaving a shop to ensure no helpful tiny shoppers have stowed away something without your knowledge – better to catch it before the alarm does!

6. Always pair baby socks before putting them in the wash. Otherwise you’ll be left with the land of the odd socks – and when baby isn’t wearing shoes that makes life awkward.

7. You’ll wind up spending a portion of your life dealing with the after effects of watching kids TV. Symptoms include humming the theme tune in public and not being able to get it out of your head, long discussions with other people about potential sexual tension between children’s programming characters/presenters and frustration at the lack of realism used in such things.

8. Baby teeth are a lot sharper than I had given them credit for. My arms and chin can attest to this.

9. There is a large chasm between the amount of variety girls shoes have and boys shoes. While this is true for clothes too to a certain extent, having a boy has found me dismayed at the lack of choice with shoes while surrounded by so many pretty girls shoes. I’ve been tempted to give in. Ahem.

10. Sloppy kisses, snuggles and 4am cuddles that can only be with Mammy are perks of the job. Yes it is exhausting, frustrating and there are days where I’d sell my left arm for two hours of peace and quiet child-free time, potentially with a glass of wine in hand. But then he leans over and gives me a messy sloppy kiss, and all is well with the world again.

Have you got any new learning points since last year or things that are good to know? Let me know in the comments! Thanks again to Learner Mama for the inspiration last year!


BadMammy is over on Facebook.


  1. My “little” one is nearly 3 but something I learnt is when he was younger, don’t Hoover every day. It’s just pointless. He will always find that one dirt and put it in his mouth. Lol

    1. Ah yes, the ground is the best place to eat from here too. Have given up and keep telling myself it’s good for his immune system…

    1. They’re just so bloody catchy – and it’s always around non parents that they come out loud, mortifying you… Oh the joys… Balamory is the ear worm that will never leave!!!

Comments are closed.