Two years ago, after a rather mixed up bank holiday weekend, I took a pregnancy test, because hey, what else would you be up to on a bank holiday Monday night? It said Pregnant, 1-2 Weeks. 2 years on, I’ve now got a 16 month old who is walking, talking and giving attitude falling asleep in the room next to mine, and it has me thinking of things I’d like to say to that girl, sitting on the bed staring at the digital screen in disbelief.
So, here goes.
Hello Newly Pregnant Me,
I guess you’re in quite a bit of shock right now; that is to be expected, this wasn’t exactly in the five year plan – not that you’d actually worked that out in your head at that point. So, you’re pregnant. Roughly about a month if the test is to be believed, though you won’t, this will be far from the last test you’ll take. Yes, they will all say the same thing (apart from the crappy HSE one in the doctors saying Not Pregnant, way to ruin the streak). Yes they are ridiculously expensive pieces of plastic that you pee on and throw away. You already know the answer, seriously, you have better things to be buying with that money. Channel it into maternity jeans, you silly woman.
This wasn’t on the plan, this comes as quite a shock but hey, it most definitely could be worse. You’ve got a job, the dad is in the picture, even if he is in as much, if not more, shock than you are. You’re a walking ad for the “Contraception is not 100% effective” brigade, but even as you’re crying tears of shock and panic, I can tell you that while this is going to be the hardest thing you will ever do, it will also be the most rewarding. That sounds so bloody cliched, but it’s true. Your whole life is set to change.
Get ready to talk about poo, and boobs, and horrible medical terms you really shouldn’t google (especially not Google Images). You’ve no need to learn any of those fancy birth methods, just like you, your son will be born via C-Section, leaving you permanently tattooed with his entry into the world. And crappy stomach muscles, but hey, you couldn’t really say much beforehand. Do try to read up on breastfeeding; it is a lot harder than it looks, and your son is a bit of a brat about it – I wonder where he gets his demanding attitude from?
You’re about to realise what really matters – over the next year a number of different events will take place and the face of your world is going to change dramatically. Friends do indeed come and go. You’ll get a chance to write about things you know, and for others to read them, and some even like them. You’ll make new friends from a whole different side of life and you’ll realise that some of your old friends are really just old drinking buddies when they haven’t hung around in the aftermath. The important ones do (and they bring Schloer, to make things even better). You will manage to survive work with morning sickness, even if K does insist on two open top coffees every morning which make you gag.
It isn’t going to be easy – every single decision you make now matters, it has an effect, and this will be something that will make you question the road your life is going down. You’ll battle your demons but you’ve beaten them before and you know what to do to get into a position to kick their arses again. It is vital that you communicate – no relationship will work without knowing you’re on the same wavelength as the other person – this is a test that I’m glad to say you will pass and succeed in. You will look at your son and wonder how the hell you two made something so gorgeous and perfect (clearly he will be asleep) and realise it’s been worth all the hard bits.
I wish you the best of luck – you’re about to have one hell of a time over the next two years – wish me luck with the rest of it.
Lots of love,
I thought that this would potentially make a cool linky; what would you say to your former self on the day that you found out you were going to be a parent for the first time? Write a post and join in the linky, and check out others by clicking on the Blue Frog below. If you’d like to add my linky badge to your blogpost (ah, go on), feel free to copy it and link back to this post.