The A To Z of My Toddler

My toddler is a curious fellow, an ever changing personality. I’d point out some manufacturing flaws (the lack of love of sleep, the mess) but I did make him myself so I’ve nobody else to really blame. However, flaws aside, he does provide me with endless entertainment, a new perspective on life and some thoughts on the kind of old age home he’ll be paying for to make up for the 5am wakeup calls. Something new changes every day – whether it’s learning new words, or stringing together sentences, or managing to scoot through the entire apartment flawlessly – he’s an ever growing lovely little thing.

If I’m asked to describe him, there’s no real single word I could choose, there are too many things to just pick one. I quite enjoyed a similar post about myself that I did last summer, so here’s a look at an A-Z of my toddler, a bit of a fun idea to capture a little snapshot of him in time, right now, aged 2 and a quarter.

The A-Z Of My Toddler -

A – Awake. Early. And Late. Apparently he may miss something if he sleeps properly, and allows the rest of us to do the same. Who told him about the Netflix and Chocolate we’re wanting to have after he goes to bed?

B – Bob The Builder – In both his early 2000s and plastic-surgeried modern forms, he’s infiltrated our house and filled our heads with his theme song and various storylines, each more nonsensical than the rest.

(Also, Banana. Staple food of the Toddler Demon).

C – Cars – He’s obsessed by them. Every single car we pass gets a mention, in particular if it’s a red car or has flashing lights – that’s the holy grail really. Toy cars are lined up in a rather obsessive way, perfectly straight, apparently “sitting in traffic” is great game to him.

D – Dancing – My toddler, he loves to dance. He needs no music, no audience, just the notion in his head that movement is the right thing to do – and when music and an audience presents himself, he’s on. I fear he may have inherited his mother’s lack of rhythm, but that doesn’t stop him at all, it’s all fun for him. Long may that last!

E – Eyes – Big and Brown, they help him get away with absolute murder because they are heart melting. And it’s not just my Mammy bias saying that, I swear, others have mentioned it. Ahem. Even though he’s now lots bigger than newborn him, he’s yet to properly grow into his big eyes!

F – Fearless – He has absolutely no fear, which strikes fear into my heart. He’s more than happy to climb up high, throw himself off a height, take risks without even thinking about the consequences. Thats the joy of being two, it seems. Every playground visit leaves me quaking, I look at him climbing up on the high slide so confidently and my heart sinks. It’s hard to let go and not hover like I’m supposed to, he’s still my baby, but his fearless attitude requires just a bit of hovering to keep him alive and in one piece!

G – Granny – he does love his grandparents, always full of hugs and kisses (when he’s in the mood) when they visit or he goes to their houses. He loves his sleepovers at Granny’s house with his uncles and Coco, the long suffering canine best friend who can’t quite keep up with Hurricane E!

H – Hiding – He’s utterly crap at Hide and Seek, thankfully – I’ll turn around in the kitchen and find him behind opened cupboard doors, to which he announces “I hiding Mummy, shh”. Not entirely sure who he’s hiding from, that may be the more worrying thing, but (when he’s not in the way), it is very cute.

I – Independent – Every day he gets a little bolder, a little more confident, a little less of a baby and more of a boy. This toddler is going to be unstoppable and he wants everyone to be aware of it. I live in fear of what the teenage years will bring, but for now, I’ll choose to see his independence and lack of need of my presence and help as a good thing!

J – Jigsaws – He’s recently gotten really into his jigsaw puzzles but isn’t very good at them – not that it has stopped him. He makes different pieces fit together using brute force, and they are now decorating our living room floor. Sigh.

K – Ketchup. There’s a good chance he’d happily live on this and this alone. Chips, sausages, all other foods are merely utensils for getting as much of the red stuff into him as possible. Toddler logic isn’t possible to psycho-analyse to this degree but it does keep him quiet if we’re out and about having a meal. Just watch out for the stains!

L – Loving – when he wants to be, the toddler boy is super loving. He can turn it on and off like a switch though – sometimes he’s all for Daddy/Mammy, next day he doesn’t want to know. All I know is, there’s nothing like a lovely cuddle from him after a long day.

M – Mummy – his current name for me. I have tried to resist and utterly failed. I blame a mixture of his friends in creche and his South African gran, but it does mean he comes out with sentences like “Oh dear, Mummy!” which just sound so utterly posh all you can do is smile. And then cry when you see what he’s broken this time.


A photo posted by Lisa Ryan (@badmammyblog) on

N – Nee-naw. Otherwise known as any vehicle that has flashing lights, luminous stripes or, on a bad day, indicators. Excitement is only beaten by the presence of a “Nee-Naw Bike”, for which he gives a round of applause as they drive past. He’s made City Council workers smile as he very forwardly greets them and waves from his buggy, even waving enthusiastically at the parking wardens. It’s all about the high-vis. It’s very cute, but there are a lot of eligible vehicles in Cork. I spend my life (even without him with me), having the word “Nee-naw” pop into my head when I see them now – definitely a problem!

O – “Oh NO! Oh Dear!” – a regular cry from our house, from the little man who is generally the cause of whatever the Oh No was about. When throwing things leads to them being a mess on the floor, when he spills water all over the sofa or when he deliberately drops something but realises he shouldn’t have, it seems as if he thinks the cry of “Oh no” will absolve him of all blame – it becomes Mr Nobody’s problem. Just our house?

P – Paw Patrol – was there ever going to be any other answer for this letter? It’s an obsession, kudos to whoever the marketing people are. He’s a Chase man, with Marshall being a close second (see, there’s the Nee-Naw obsession again), and will happily sit and watch for hours. We have the t-shirts, the soft toys, the toy wagon, the various cups and straw-beakers (none of which get drank out of for long). And thankfully, we have a second season on Netflix to vary up the monotony of the same episodes endlessly on a loop.

Q – Quiet. Ha. Hahaha. If he is this, which he rarely is, it’s likely there are crayon marks on the wall, half a cutlery drawer in the bin, or he’s perfected removing his dirty nappy by himself. Aside from that, he is loud. They told us he’d quieten a bit after the grommets procedure. They lied. So, so loud.

R – Running. He doesn’t walk, he runs. Unless you need him to be in a hurry, at which point snails will outpace him. If he’s out of the buggy in public, his reins bag is always attached because he’s likely to run off, striking the fear into me. For someone with legs so short, he moves FAST.

S – Sleep – Is always on his own terms, never ours. It’s not cool to miss out on clearly essential life experiences by something as insignificant as sleep, it seems! Thankfully he’s getting a bit better at the whole bedtime malarkey as he becomes an older toddler (saying this with fingers crossed that I’ve not jinxed it) but waking up can begin some mornings before 6am, and once he’s up, he’s up. I look forward to the teenage years when I can drag him out of bed at ungodly hours to pass on the favour.

T – Tantrum – he’s well able to argue with the best of them. I’m pretty sure anyone involved in hostage negotiation should have a toddler on the training staff. (You’ve got a volatile person who is likely to do anything left of field, if you can talk them down then you can face anything.). Generally his tantrums are intense but short, and we’re friends again a short time later, but they can definitely lead me to the bottle of wine after a long day!

U – Upside down – the way my poor apartment is left after him. He might be a bit obsessive about his cars being lined up, and good at helping tidy in creche, but couch cushions, blankets, every toy he owns…. yeah, that’s my sitting room floor 95% of the time. Tell me it gets better!

V – Vegetables – he’s actually quite good for eating his veggies, long may that last. Generally he has no qualms about stealing dinner from other people’s plates either, especially where peas or sweetcorn are concerned. Can be found eating half his portion of carrot sticks walking around, and flinging the other half out of the buggy. You win some, you lose some.

W – Wrecked. How I feel since he’s come into my life. Wouldn’t trade him for the world, but perhaps for a week of full nights sleeps I could be convinced…

X – Xylophone – his very favourite noisy toy for quite a long time (thank you so much Granny). It’s slowly being edged out by the harmonica, I’m not sure which is worse…. we will avoid the recorder for as long as humanly possible.

Y – Yoghurt – Goats Milk Yoghurt, thanks to his intolerance to dairy, a definite staple in his toddler diet along with bananas and ketchup. The folks at Glenisk make his favourite one, but it’s definitely not the cheapest of intolerances to deal with! One is barely finished and he’s demanding another!

Z – Zoo, as in Dear Zoo, his current favourite bedtime book. Not so great for winding down at the moment, he gets a lot of joy out of LOUDLY making all of the animal noises and identifying them, but it’s a crowd pleaser every time. Even if I do feel that all the child needed to do at the start was to be a BIT more specific (and a bit more common sense from the Zoo staff) and it all would have been avoided. Ahem, might have read it a few too many times while a bit too tired for the enthusiasm. It’s cute when I’m not wrecked, I swear.

So, 26 letters later, I’ve managed to complete an alphabet of my little man – so I’d like to see what other people can do with it and their kids – it can be one or all, up to you! Tagging the usual suspects: The Airing Cupboard, Bumbles of Rice, Office Mum, The Clothesline, Bumps and Roundabouts, My Little Babog but if you’d like to join in, please do! If there’s enough interest, I’ll share them along with this post so you can see them!


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