It has been one year since my son entered my life.
7.05am on a Monday morning. Not many great things happen at that hour on a Monday, but he did.
It’s been quite the year. He has turned from a rather tiny orange squealing never-sleeping-not-eating-enough baby into this child before my eyes, who is almost walking, and wakes me up every morning with a mixture of squeals and Mixed Martial Arts.
I’m still pinching myself.
It’s been an interesting year. I’m not going to say the best of my life, because it has been hard as hell and as good as some of those moments were, and continue to be, there were some lows that I’d rather never have to revisit. I’ve learned a lot about how much I can cope on little sleep, just how many coffees I can have before I start jittering, and just about all the words to every single Bob the Builder episode. You know it’s too much when you start shouting at the screen for Bob to notice Wendy’s obvious advances.
He has changed me as a person, my priorities are different now, the way I think about things has changed. I’ve become more patient, I think that comes with the territory, but in the same breath I take less crap in certain situations because I’m more at ease with what is important and what isn’t in my life. It’s not that I’ve got my shit together, but its certainly shoved me, hard, in the right direction.
He is definitely the love of my life, and I say that knowing how much of a cliche it is, but it’s true. There is no other explanation for the fact that I can forgive him waking me after practically no sleep, to claw at me and puke on me, just for giving me that look with those deep brown eyes just like mine, and smile at me. Some days I even get a Mama with that look, and all is forgiven. Nobody else could or should get that, but he does.
I’ve managed to set a record, this is the longest I’ve managed to care for something and keep it alive. I’m quite proud (and relieved, as you can imagine) – previously, I was the kind of girl who killed every house plant that managed to come near her, including an Aloe Vera plant, and they take effort to kill from neglect. Not only is he still alive, but he’s thriving and growing and turning into this boy who makes me wonder where that tiny baby who was too small for the premie-baby clothes went.
Today is the anniversary that my life changed for the better forever. Happy Birthday love.
Love Mam x