Are you familiar with Paw Patrol? Chances are, if you’ve got a child under the age of five who has been introduced to a television or Netflix account, you’ll at least be familiar with the theme tune. By familiar, I mean it’s stuck on a loop in a part of your brain that nothing else can quite reach to get it out of there (I’ve contemplated bleaching it out. Surely that will work?). For those of you who haven’t become familiar with the show that has taken over our lives as we know them, Paw Patrol is a Canadian animation broadcast in 126 countries, based on the premise of a pack of dogs who, under orders of the questionably aged boy with lots of technology at his disposal, go about saving the rather questionable townspeople from themselves. In our house, the combination of dogs plus fire engines (that would be the aptly named Marshall) was fated to be a winner.
Paw Patrol has left me with some burning questions over the last few months (and that’s before I even get to “When is Netflix going to add another season so we can stop watching the same episodes over and over?). Some logic issues have been noticed. Perhaps if you too are exposed to large quantities of Ryder and his team of pups, you can help me find the answers…
- How old is Ryder? Shouldn’t he be in school? Or have we another Ash Ketchum on our hands?
2. Where are his parents? Surely if Ryder is able to use a treehouse fitting of it’s own episode of MTV’s Cribs, they have to be bankrolling him, and would expect him to be home for dinner at least once a week?
3. Even ignoring the lack of parents – that isn’t so unusual in Kids TV – are there no competent adults in this town?
4. How did that Mayor come into power? I’ve witnessed the town politics that went into the Gilmore Girls and this show makes that look like state parliament. I’m pretty sure on any adult show she’d be under a 72 hour psych evaluation for pretty much every action she takes in every episode.
5. The chicken. Why haven’t they just let it go to a farm already? Or is she merely a delusion of the clearly psychologically troubled Mayor Goodway. Perhaps they’re all a delusion of hers. That would make more sense.
6. Regardless of how many team members are in the place they need to be, they all have to go assemble at the Lookout. Similarly, regardless of what they’re wearing, they must change into uniform during the sequence repeated in every episode. Even if they were wearing it beforehand, we see it get put on again.
7. Not every dog used gets seen in the sequence, only ever three – despite there being many occasions where more than three have to go through the whole ordeal. Why are some ranked more important than others?
8. Are the dogs involved mutant dogs, or is there a reason that they’re more competent than any other human or animal in the series?
9. How does Turbot not know how to say his own name?
10. Is there a reason that only one of the pups is female, and she’s the one who really doesn’t get to do much?
11. How has Ryder become the leader of this famous five? He calls them and instantly it’s “Ryder needs us” – what does he have on them?
12. Was the sequel to Pup Pup Boogie everything they hoped it would be? Did they at least change the song that goes with it?
13. How long am I likely to get away with not buying all of the merchandise? We gave in and got the pyjamas which are now treasured possessions but I’d rather evade the plastic for as long as possible…
14. And will the theme tune ever, ever leave my brain?
If you’ve got the answers, or noticed anything else questionable, I’d love to hear from you in the comments. In the mean time, I’ll dream of a day where I get to change the show to ANYTHING else without risk of a 2007 Britney-style breakdown from the toddler. Almost-two is full of the emotions, and Paw Patrol soothes them. Some day we will be free. Until then, it’s P-P-Paw-Paw-Paw Patrol.
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