New Year, New Me?

IMG_3002.JPGI’ve written before about my relationship with food, weight and body image. After my pregnancy with E, I was left at the biggest I’ve ever been and felt like absolute crap. Jeans shopping was more traumatic than normal and my new shape made me want to cry when I looked in the mirror. I looked at other mothers walking around with their buggies (some of them jogging) and wondered how they did it, how they attained their gorgeous figures with tiny babies, how they found time to exercise and cook clearly healthier meals than I was. I listened to person after person tell me how breastfeeding was the key to the super weight loss and felt even worse about my failure as a watering hole for my son. In hindsight I realize that the onset of post natal depression did play a lot into the hands of this. I felt horrible, ugly, like my son would be ashamed of me, that my partner would clearly want someone better, thinner, less whale-like. It wasn’t a good time.  Read More